2020 Review

2020 was quite a year for us all lol. To me, it was the complete definition of life cannot always be full of roses and so, I decided to do a honest review of my year 2020 on here. Here’s my 2020 review.

I was really ecstatic at the beginning of the year. At Church, the pastor kept saying 2020 was a year of double portion and I believed that 2020 was going to be really great.

As you already know, I am a student in the university and few days into the new year, the university I attend resumed and I went to school. School was fun, I enjoyed the lectures and everything was fine. I went to school in January, wrote my 1st semester exam in March. I was given two weeks break after my exam and I went home for the break.

Quarantine

Staying home was fun! I was happy to see my family members again, I was happy to be home. The 2 weeks went by so fast and by the time I knew it, it was time for me to go back to school. I prepared to go back to school and on the day I was to leave for school, I got the information that the school was closed due to the pandemic and so all students were to stay at home.

I stayed at home thinking everything will be just fine and the pandemic will be over in a few days but the pandemic kept spreading. The number of infected cases/people kept rising and soon after the government declared the lockdown. Now this is where things took a turn for the worse. Things went from busy streets to completely isolated streets.

No one knew what 2020 had in store. If we knew what 2020 had in store for us, some would have rather preferred to skip the year 2020 which is something we can’t do lol but 2020 came with life lessons that hadn’t been learnt in the whole of my life and so I am thankful for the fact that I learnt those lessons.

I stayed home doing almost nothing from March to May/June. During the quarantine, I knew I wasn’t going anywhere so I subconsciously developed this quarantine routine where all I basically did was sleep, wake up, do the house chores, eat, have my bath, read for a bit, surf the internet and repeat. Then one day in May/June still during the quarantine (I can’t really remember the exact month), I received a mail from one of my lecturers that stated that we would start having our lectures online.

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I was excited knowing that lectures where gonna commence again and I was also excited about the fact that we were gonna have our lectures online. Before then, I had never had online lectures so I didn’t really know how they looked like. Fast-forward to few days after I got the mail that stated that we were going to commence online lectures soon.

Few days after I got the mail from my lecturer, we started our online lectures (Now taking lectures was added to my subconscious quarantine routine) and I found that taking courses online especially science related courses (I am a science student) wasn’t as easy as I thought. Online lectures require way more focus, devotion and commitment than normal lectures require but I made up my mind to do well regardless.

Photo by Denise Karis on Unsplash

The struggle with my mental health

There is this feeling that develops when you stay home all day for days on end quarantining and it’s not a good feeling. I don’t know if it’s just me. I don’t know if I am the only one that feels this way but staying home all day for days on end, and just quarantining make your mind start to wander. The inner critic wakes up, negativity comes in and different thoughts start to find their way into your mind.

This year really had a toll on my mental health. I fought some mental health battles this year. Normally, I am always this carefree, loud, outgoing, confident and bold 18 year old but this year, I found myself being less confident.

There were times I didn’t feel good about myself, there were times I felt so timid. Comparing myself to others is something I never do but there were times I compared myself to others. I am a very social person, I love interacting and talking to people but I came out of quarantine and I found it super hard to socialize.

I am a strong girl and I know it because my life has never been easy. So many times, I have been insulted by people who are close to me. I have been compared to others and all but somehow, I always ended up being confident, outgoing and at the top of my game but quarantining made things super difficult.

During the quarantine, there were times I did everything I could to shut my mind up and silence the inner critic. I always feel like I am good enough, worth it and all. But there were times where I was dragged in dark places and at some point, I felt like I wasn’t good enough. Before the quarantine, I had never felt like I wasn’t good enough but there’s a first time to everything right?

I am so much of a never give up person, I can be super resilient. Yes, I faced my battles head on, I was determined to overcome whatever I was facing and I am more than excited to say that I made good progress! Issues regarding mental health are not easy to deal with. Overcoming mental health issues go way beyond the little list some people give.

When you ask people or check the internet on how to overcome some mental health issues, you hear/see things like develop a positive mindset, exercise, say positive things to yourself and all.. No doubt these things work but most times they are portrayed to be super easy. They are not easy at all. I am not trying to scare you but that’s the reality.

I turned 18!

I turned 18 this year. Honestly, I was super excited for my big 18 even before my birthday came. I mean I was going to be an adult lol. Ever since the beginning of this year, I had been talking about my big 18th birthday. I was really excited for my 18th but when the day finally came and I clocked 18, we were on lockdown. I wasn’t able to throw a party, go out or even have people come over. Tbh, I was very determined to have a blast on my 18th birthday but quarantine huh…

Lockdown and quarantine ruined my plans but in all I am happy. While I’ll never be able to celebrate my 18th birthday again, I’ll be able to celebrate my other birthdays even the ones that are bigger than the big 18! Even though I wasn’t able to do all the big things, I enjoyed my birthday and I am super happy about that. Birthdays come once every year and so I made sure to have fun and enjoy regardless of lockdown and quarantine.

Everything in between

This year made me list my priorities, decide on what’s important and worth my time. And it also helped me do away with the unimportant things. The list of lessons 2020 taught me is endless and I know everyone learnt tons of lessons from 2020. I am more than grateful for everything, lessons learnt, hardships endured, quarantine and everything in general.

On the 25th of November this year, I created this blog. I wanted a medium through which I could write, inspire and motivate people. Another reason I created this blog is to make it my little corner of the internet where I can share anything and everything and honestly, I have been loving it!

I lost a friend this year, I lost someone I used to talk to. He wasn’t my closest friend but he was my friend. I still have our chats on my laptop. I couldn’t sleep the day I heard he passed. People die everyday but it hits harder and hurts differently when it’s someone you know. Knowing that someone I knew very well died made me thankful for being able to sleep and wakeup everyday.

Most times, we do not realize what a great privilege it is to be alive and well. Losing a friend made me realize that life is a gift, it is important to make good use of that gift. And it is important to make every day count as you never know, it might be your last. He was a 20 something year old who was always vibrant and full of life. I learnt to value everybody in my life.

Life can be really strange. Someone is here today, so happy and all and tomorrow or a few moments later, they are no more. I reread our chats after I got the news that he passed and his death felt so unreal. He was such a fun and goofy person. When I heard the news, I couldn’t believe he was gone and right now, I still can’t believe he is gone.

For me, 2020 is a year to remember. It taught me a lot of lessons which I would be forever grateful for. I had very few but important goals at the beginning of this year. I didn’t achieve all my goals but I am glad I was able to achieve some of them. 2020 was not very pleasant but it did open our eyes to a lot. And everyone learnt a thing or two from 2020.

Roundup

Some people loathe the year 2020 but I don’t. Life cannot always be filled with roses, there are thorns too. I am grateful for life, everything I have. And I am grateful for the fact that I came out stronger and better! I hope you enjoyed reading my 2020 review.

That’s it for my 2020 review. I hope you enjoyed!