Self love is a word (or are two words rather lol) that is thrown around so much these days so much that sometimes, I wonder if people really know what they are referring to when they talk about self love. Self love covers a whole range of aspects and I wish learning to love yourself was as easy as it is thrown around. So many people talk about self love. So many people post about self love, but what is self love? What does self love really mean? Everyone wants to talk about self love. Everyone claims to be an advocate of self love but in our closets, corners and when no one is there, do we really love ourselves? This is a question you honey bunny reading this should answer.

Self love is being confident in yourself and having a positive view of yourself. Self love is the belief that you are a unique, amazing and valuable person. Loving yourself doesn’t mean you are perfect (nah far from it) but learning to love yourself and those imperfections while fully knowing that the imperfections are present is everything. Loving yourself doesn’t mean you are the smartest, most beautiful/handsome, or even the most talented or upright person in the world. It just means that you value yourself enough to accept yourself, your flaws and love yourself for who you are.

Self love is about getting in touch with yourself, your life, your well-being and your happiness. Self love helps us make healthy and amazing choices in life. So many of us get carried away with loving others – our wives, husbands, girlfriends, kids, parents, siblings, friends, boyfriends and others that we end up neglecting and forgetting how to love ourselves. It might not be easy for us to love ourselves but self love is a necessity and is important if you really want to become the best version of yourself.

Self love

Photo by Maddi Bazzocco on Unsplash

We live in a world where perfection seems to be the norm but the fact is nothing and nobody is perfect no matter how glammed up they look or seem. I am not perfect, you are not perfect and nobody is perfect. Yea you heard right! That girl you see on Instagram who looks so beautiful, sexy, with a figure 8, hot and whose life seems all perfect is not perfect. She has issues too. Yea, the same girl you envy so much and wished you were. Those people who seem like they have everything from looks to money are not perfect either… No one is perfect so learn to see the beauty in your imperfections.

Self love is an act and it can also be defined as the act of making a conscious effort to love and appreciate yourself for everything you are, everything you have been and everything you will become. It is the act of respecting and having an extremely high regard for your self, your opinions, well-being, happiness and all. Self love is the act of not settling for anything less than you deserve (When you love yourself, you will never settle for less). Self love is hell of a necessity in today’s world and it goes way beyond treating yourself to bubble baths and the likes and the earlier we realize that, the better it’s going to be for us.

Each individual is extremely special. You are very special and there is no other person like you in this world. You are a rare gem. Practicing and making self love a daily routine can prove to be extremely difficult and challenging especially in difficult times but self love is an extremely important aspect of living a happy life. If you only love yourself when everything’s fine and things are going rosy then, you need to improve on your self love. When you truly love yourself, you will vouch for you even when things are toughest.

Everyone would totally agree that it is easier for us to love ourselves when everything is going fine, smoothly and extremely well but in times when things seem difficult, we tend to be so much harder on ourselves and forget to love ourselves. Most times all we are good at doing is judging ourselves, comparing ourselves to others, being extremely hard on ourselves, criticizing ourselves and all but we hardly ever praise ourselves, treat ourselves to one of our favorites. Some of us don’t even celebrate our success but we always make sure to criticize ourselves when we fail and that is completely wrong.

Self love

Celebrating yourself is part of self love… If you reach a milestone in your life or do something really amazing and you can’t give yourself accolades, praise and celebrate yourself but you praise others on having the slightest progress and all then you probably don’t love yourself.. Don’t get me wrong, there’s absolutely no harm in giving others accolades but the thing is you shouldn’t only celebrate or give others accolades you should also celebrate and give the most important person in your life (yourself) accolades too. Giving yourself the accolades, celebrating yourself on the smallest achievement and praising yourself are an extremely important aspect of self love.

Self love goes hand in hand with self care. If you love yourself you will care for yourself. Imagine you got an iPhone 12 and you really love it (from the colours to the shape and everything about it.) You would take care of that iPhone like your life depends on it. You will shield it if you need to and some would even go as far as punching someone just because of that iPhone haha. Now take this iPhone scenario and apply it to yourself. When you love something, you protect it, you care for it. In the same way, when you love yourself, you will care for you. Do you care for yourself? Okay let’s say you do. Do you show yourself as much care, love and appreciation as you are supposed to? There you go sugar plum! That question is for you.

Self love is a crucial part of life. You can’t really move mountains and achieve milestones if you do not love yourself. The benefits of loving yourself can never be overemphasized. When it comes to self love, everyone’s journey is different. My self love journey is different from yours and yours is different from mine but we are all working to reach a common goal. I do hope this post has broadened your knowledge on self love and I hope this post has made you want to improve and do better when it comes to loving yourself.

Over to you now, what is self love to you and how do you practice self love? 😊

 

29 Comments

  1. Such a great article. I don’t know why it is such a struggle to love ourselves. It’s like a chore to carve out time to actually do it. I think we were told that self love equals selfish for so long that we are afraid of doing things for ourselves. For me, it’s not about just getting my nails done. It’s about saying no to that guy who treats me poorly because I love myself enough to set the bar higher. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  2. It is important when you’re referring to self-love, you need to truly understand what it means. You need to love yourself unconditionally. I mean, no one is perfect and that’s fine. Why be perfect now? always have something to work towards. I love the idea of making a real conscious effort. At least you have a legitimate journey. Thanks for sharing all of your thoughts on this!

    Nancy ✨ mdrnminimalists.com

  3. This was a lovely read, I have definitely struggled with self love in the past and it’s something that I’m still working on. It is hard sometimes because I do compare myself to others even when I don’t notice I’m doing and it’s definitely something to work on x

  4. Great post! Self love is sometimes perceived as selfish but we make so much effort for others. I will never understand why we don’t give ourselves the same love, care and attention!

    Rosie

  5. I think the iphone comparison is spot on! I am so guilty of looking after my phone more than I do myself!

    Self love is such an important topic to discuss, it is a hard thing to achieve but definitely something we should all strive for!

  6. This was such a great post and a must-read for everyone! I loved when you said that when you learn to love yourself you don’t accept anything less. Self-love to me is being comfortable with myself and living without fearing other’s people judgement. It’s a long journey to accept everything of ourselves but a must needed one! x

  7. Such a really beautiful piece and really introduced me to some ideas of self love that I hadn’t considered before. I’ll be the first to admit that I really struggle with applying self-love to myself but I really liked your iPhone 12 analogy and it’s something I”m going to try and start applying to myself. Thank you for sharing this piece.

  8. This is an inspriring post. Loved reading it. We really do have to celebrate the small things so that we can recognise how far we’ve come overall. Love a self-care post, thank you for posting!!

  9. Such a lovely post! Self love is something I definitely struggle with. I think mainly, like you said, we are constantly shown perfection – especially online- so when you can’t match up to that, you almost don’t feel worthy of self love. Which is sad and not at all true!

  10. Such a lovely piece. Self love is so important and often so overlooked when we’re all so busy. I’m really into the notion of being the best version of myself at the moment so really loved reading this.

  11. Love how you compare loving yourself to loving your iPhone! A funny comparison, but one that also does work!

    Katie | katieemmabeauty.com

  12. Great read! Honestly, I struggle with self love. Self care I can do no problem, but when it comes to really loving myself, sometimes I struggle. Loved your post though, great points!

  13. I loved this! Self love for me is to practice selfcare not only on Sundays, but every day. It’s to treat ourselves the same way we treat others!
    I practice self love going to therapy whenever I feel like it’s just too much!

  14. This is such a fantastic post, I’m really glad you’ve shared it! You’re absolutely right, self-love is a commitment to ourselves and our own happiness and that’s so important. It’s not always the easiest thing to do, especially when our society pushes certain ideals down our throats all our lives, but it is something we all need to work on consistently. Thank you so much for sharing this – it’s given me a lot to think about! 🙂

  15. Selflove for me was loving the way I look, loving my personality, loving me even when I make mistakes. It’s hard some days but I know that if I practice selflove I will be more confident in myself.

  16. I love everything about this post. Too often we see self-love as being ‘selfish’ when it’s actually SO important for our mental health. One of the biggest things that I have started to do for my own well-being is to make time to step back from work and do the things that I enjoy… Camping/hiking with my husband and our pups, playing Sims 4, etc. I used to fall into the trap of believing that I had to be productive 24/7 and reworking my mindset in that regard has had a significant impact on my mental health.

  17. The iPhone analogy is such a good way of thinking about self-love. I wouldn’t say that I totally love myself but I definitely like myself which is a definite step in the right direction. I like to celebrate the small wins & I’m taking care of my body so I think I’m on my way to self-love. Great post 🙂 xx

  18. Great post! I think we all need to practice more self-love, true self-love, not over-inflated egos or narcissism. Giving back to ourselves and showing appreciation toward ourselves is so important when everything around us can make us feel unsure or less about ourselves. Thanks for an inspiring read 🙂

  19. Agreed with all of this! Especially that self-love is an act. But it is also subconscious prioritization, where we choose ourselves and recognize our strengths often. I practice self-love by being kinder to myself because I’m often harder on myself 😊

    Sumedha | the wordy habitat

  20. Great post! I love that you mentioned ‘learning to love your imperfections’ as a part of self love. As you said, I think sometimes self love is often mistaken for thinking you’re the best, smartest, nicest etc. person when it’s actually all about learning about yourself and understanding who you are, imperfections and all x

    https://www.femaleoriginal.com

  21. This is such a fab post. I completely agree that self-love is about celebrating yourself – that’s something I definitely struggle with sometimes and am working out. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I loved this post.

    Tash – A Girl with a View

  22. Great post! I think we all need to practice a little more self love. I feel like some people think it means treating themselves–buying that new purse, or a coffee, or lipstick. But sometimes it means doing the hard things, too–taking your meds (if you need them), getting enough exercise and eating healthy foods, and learning how to be assertive if someone is trying to pressure you into doing something that makes you uncomfortable. Sometimes self love is making a hard decision instead of taking an easy shortcut. Self love is a lot of things. It’s not always easy.

    You’re spot on, Ruthiee. Thank you for the reminder that we need to love ourselves.

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