Self love is a journey and it’s different for everyone. The importance of self love can never be overemphasized and for me self love means a whole lot of different things ranging from loving and accepting yourself to not letting anyone put you down or make you feel like less of a person. We talk about self love a lot but what some of us fail to realize is that self is not just statement. It is something we practice. It is something we do. It is an action rather than just a statement.

It is a conscious effort to love, accept and appreciate yourself for who you are, who you were and who you would be. Self love means different things to different people but in the end, it is about giving yourself that appreciation, love and care you need as treating yourself that appreciation, love, care you need and treating yourself just as kindly as you would treat a friend. Self love is extremely important and it should be practiced as often as possible. Self love should be practiced every day and here are some ways to practice self love.

self love

Photo by Jen P. on Unsplash

WAYS TO PRACTICE SELF LOVE

LEARN TO SAY NO

Some people find it difficult to say ‘no’. I mean there’s no law that says you need to give in to everything and say yes all the time and even if there’s a law like that f**k that law. Sadly, there are people who don’t know how to say no. Saying NO when you do not feel like you want something or want to get involved in it is a way of showing that you care about what you want and you are not afraid to say it so start learning to say NO.

STOP CARING ABOUT WHAT OTHER’S THINK OF YOU

So many of us care too much about what people think. We want everybody to like us. We want to be in everyone’s good books. We care too much about what other’s think that we end up turning ourselves into people pleasers. No matter how kind and lovely you are, you can’t be in everyone’s good books darling. Be yourself and stop caring what anyone thinks. People’s opinion of you is like a broken calculator. That shit doesn’t count. What anyone thinks of you is none of your business. What anyone thinks of you is bullshit. It’s crap. If they think you are awesome, that’s fine but if they think otherwise, it’s their problem and not yours. The only thing that matters is what you think about yourself. Stop being a people pleaser and please yourself.

AVOID TOXIC PEOPLE

Babes, you should be the most important thing to yourself. If hanging out with someone has a negative effect on you and your mental health, cut the darn person off. Nothing should be allowed to ruin your happiness and your mental health and being around toxic people does just that. Surround yourself with people who love, encourage you and feel your life with positive vibes.

TAKE IT EASY ON YOURSELF AND CELEBRATE SMALL WINS

You really don’t need to buy yourself a Rolls Royce before you celebrate. Even if you get a small promotion at work, celebrate it. No matter how small and minute it may look, it is an achievement and it is worth celebrating. Also, learn to take it easy on yourself. Believe me, life can get so tough to an extent that you start to beat yourself up about every single thing that goes wrong. No matter how terrible things get, please take it easy on yourself. Beating yourself up has never helped anyone instead it worsens the situation.

SAY POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS TO YOURSELF

Affirmations are amazing and they could turn your life around. Positive affirmations are positive statements that help to counter negative thoughts and emotions. When you repeat them while believing in them, you will start to make positive changes.

SPOIL YOURSELF

While self love goes way beyond bubble baths, your favourite drink and the likes, self love cannot be complete if you don’t spoil yourself to the things you love be it a bubble bath, your favourite food or anything you love so go out and treat yourself. Have fun and do those things that make you feel happy. That thing you love, get it. That thing that makes you happy, do it. Those people that make you happy spend time with them. Life is too short to be doing things that don’t make you happy so spoil yourself silly.

self love

STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS

STOP the comparison! Do not, I repeat do not compare yourself to anyone. Everyone is different. Everyone is running a different race and everyone has different lives to lead same way everyone has different problems, strengths and weaknesses. No two people are the same. Your strength may be their weakness and your weakness could be their strength. Do not ever compare yourself to others. Stop caring about who is doing better than you. You are doing better than you were doing years ago. It’s you versus you not you versus someone else. It is not easy to not compare yourself to others but it is not impossible either. Learning to not compare yourself with others will increase your confidence in yourself, it will better your life and it will make you appreciate you for you. Instead of comparing yourself to others, be patient with yourself. You will blossom in due time.

ACCEPT THE FACT THAT BEAUTY ISN’T JUST ABOUT THE PHYSICAL

True beauty comes from within. Yes physical beauty exists but we tend to prioritize the external beauty more than the internal beauty whereas the beauty that lies within matters most. Accept the fact that the internal beauty matters most and never let anyone or anything you see make you feel ugly or not sexy. You are beautiful inside out but what matter’s the most is the beauty inside you.

FEEL YOUR FEELINGS

A crucial aspect of self love is allowing yourself to feel your feelings whether positive or negative. Allow yourself to feel your feelings and if it is a negative feeling or emotion, allow yourself to feel it too. Just don’t allow it take over you and do not let it affect you negatively either.

CONTROL YOUR MIND

Our minds can be rebellious. It tells us what it shouldn’t tell us sometimes. Sometimes, I find myself wondering if my mind is really in my favour. Sometimes, I’m like you are my mind, you are meant to be on my side and you are meant to be my best friend. How come it looks like you are my biggest enemy? Well, that’s the irony of life I guess. Do not let your mind bring negativity all the time. Be in control of your mind and do not allow your mind weigh you down in any way. You own your mind, you may not be able to totally control what goes on in your mind but you definitely have some control over it.

FORGIVE YOURSELF

We all make mistakes and sometimes, forgiving yourself might not be easy but it is worth it. You know that friend that wronged you real bad. You forgave him/her right? Why can’t you forgive yourself then? If your friend is worthy of forgiveness, you are equally as worthy of your forgiveness so let go. The past cannot be undone and making mistakes is not a death sentence but you can definitely control your future.

FIND SOMETHING TO BE GRATEFUL FOR EACH DAY

Everybody has bad days and believe me it’s normal. No one’s gonna be happy all the time and that’s fine. We are humans, we have off days, we make mistakes and there are days when everything seems like it is crashing down and that’s okay. It can be really difficult to find the positives and the things you are grateful for in each day but acknowledging the positives and finding things to be grateful for in each day regardless of the situation will make your problems seem less daunting and it will change your overall outlook on life.

EAT GOOD FOOD

Now someone’s gonna think. “Does eating good food have anything to do with self love?!” and here’s my answer oh yes it does. Practicing self love does not only mean taking care of your emotional wellbeing alone. It means taking care of your emotional wellbeing, your health and everything about yourself. Food plays a crucial role in our wellbeing and health so make sure you have good food all the time.

GET 8 SOLID HOURS OF SLEEP

Getting 8 hours of sleep has always been so hard for me. I have always had a really terrible sleep routine not because I want to but somehow it’s always been like that and lately, I have decided to start getting as much sleep as possible. Basically, my sleep life is trash haha. I sleep so late, yet I wake up countless number of times every night (getting 5 – 6 hours of interrupted sleep every night and sometimes less). I definitely want to change that as better sleep has a lot of benefits. Everyone gets more productive after a good night’s sleep and getting good sleep is great for the overall wellbeing.

Here are a few ways in which you can practice self love. If you haven’t read the first part of this series, you can read it over here! How do you practice self love? How often do you practice it and which of the above tips do you want to practice more? Let me know

20 Comments

  1. This spoke to me so much! I have always been a people pleaser, saying yes to everything when I didn’t feel like it was my thing and compared myself to others far too much or cared about their opinion more than mine, but since being home I had loads of time to switch my way of thinking. Affirmations, a good book and a mask are my self-love favourites! Thanks for sharing x

  2. Yes, yes, YES and a resounding YESSSS to all of these!!! I appreciate how you included all of this in a self-love post because I think sometimes self-love and self-care are looked at very negatively or as a very shallow practice, but when things like this are included it really does become more than just a physical thing and your heart and mind become involved in a really beautiful way. Thank you for sharing!

  3. I feel like I am constantly comparing myself to others and I know its not a good habit. I love your posts about self love. It is so good to practice self love. It’s okay to set boundaries and to sometimes say no to things we know are not good for us.

  4. Great points.
    I truly like the first point on learning how to say no. This was such a big challenge for a long time until I realize that it is ok to say no in a tactful manner and mean it.

  5. you mentioned a lot of great points. self love is something i try to preach daily. i’m learning it’s ok to say no sometimes & to let go of people who no longer serve me. we can’t be wasting our energy on toxic people. life is too short for that.
    🙂

  6. This is such a helpful post! I really need to up my self-loving techniques, but as I am struggling with depression I fail every so often. I definitely have to try forgiving myself more and let go of toxic people in my life. Also, I need to get more sleep. It’s funny because it’s currently 3 AM and I’m reading blogs. Anyway, thanks for sharing!! xxxx

  7. These are great self-love habits to pick up to start loving yourself more, quite a number of them I’ve tried. Learning to say no and finding something to be grateful for everyday are two I started practicing actively a couple years ago and the impact has been tremendous! Happy to read that you’re recommending those as well to people, as not many do. Also, it is very important to always give anything toxic a goodbye note.

  8. Thank you for creating this and sharing your tips and advice. Self love is such a weak point for me but I’m definitely trying to learn. Saying ‘no’ more is something I really need to start doing and staying away from toxic people too.

  9. Avoiding toxic people is definitely so important, I’ve cut out so many people because they’re toxic & it makes the world of difference!

  10. This is such a fab post with some amazing tips! Avoiding toxic people is something i’ve definitely done more of this past year or two and it’s made such a difference to my mental health!

  11. I’ve never been able to have 8 hours of solid sleep, but I wish I could. I rarely get more than 6, but the average over my life is 4. If I could I’d be asleep forever, but I’m stuck always being sleep deprived

  12. Love the idea of celebrating small wins. It’s so easy to focus on the negative. I’m going to start celebrating my small wins at the end of every day.

  13. I agree with what self-love means to you! It is about not letting other people influence you in what they think you should be. You should live your life the way you want. Otherwise, you won’t have a fulfilling one. Big importance on avoiding toxic people!! I found some toxic people lately and they ain’t it. You need to take care of yourself first. Comparison is not good because everyone is living a different life. Thanks for sharing!

    Nancy ✨ mdrnminimalists.com

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